Processing the Pandemic - Amberlee
A Poem Written During a String of Sleepless Nights
Hello Friends,
This week’s poem comes from Amberlee. Amberlee and I worked together at our respective arts organization for many years prior to the pandemic. When the pandemic hit, I was on maternity leave and she was still there, weathering the uncertainty, sadness, and struggles for equality happening inside and outside of that historic building. While I frantically checked my emails late at night with a baby on my breast, trying to follow what was happening back at the office, Amberlee was working, albeit remotely, wondering along with our fellow coworkers if our theatres would re-open and if any of us would keep our jobs.
By the end of 2020, we would both be laid off. The pandemic marched on with no arts events on the horizon. I will never forget returning to the office one last time to turn in my keys and collect my belongings from the abandoned offices. I worked there for nearly eight years. The experience of having to leave without saying goodbye to any of my colleagues and friends was somber and incomplete. I went home and sobbed.
After a few years that felt more like a few decades, I was thrilled to hear from Amberlee. Her poem, written at 3 AM in the midst of a string of sleepless nights just after the massive arts industry lay-offs, perfectly captures the tenebrous emotions we were experiencing during that time. On an overcast late spring day, we met for portraits at a park near her newly purchased home, her husband and sweet dog, Louie along for the ride. We were able to catch up and wander around the grounds, so much to say in such a short visit. Every time I am able to reconnect with one of my previous colleagues, someone I didn’t get to say goodbye to, or someone I haven’t seen since the ‘before times,’ it brings me a sense of peace. You’re still here? Yes. Me too.
Thank you, Amberlee for sharing your process.
- Hilary
PROCESSING THE PANDEMIC - AMBERLEE
SOMEDAY
Someday
This will all seem
Far away
A balloon you clasped
Its luminous, delicate ribbon
Imprinting lines on your fragile but
Mighty hands
You carried it gently, fiercely
A protector of your spherical
Dreams and wishes expanded from
Every breath exhaled
Every inhale with the intention to
Give more
Do more
Be more
So that it might take flight above
Where you end
Just a pop of color
The lines scratch against your skin
Zipping away
Helplessly floating further and further
And then
A dot in your atmosphere
Sinking heartbreak in your chest
Empty hands and out of breath
Someday
This will all seem
Far away
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Amberlee Joers (she/her) is a theatre artist, teaching artist, and arts education organizer who has lived and worked in the Seattle area for the past 12 years and calls the Pacific Northwest home. She lives on Duwamish land with her husband and ridiculously fluffy rescue dog, Louie the Pomeranian. She loves to express gratitude and love for her community through cooking and baking a variety of delicious treats. Passionate about the intersections of anti-racism work, disability justice, and LGBTQ+ rights, Amberlee practices the mantra that "the role of the artist is to make the revolution irresistible." (Toni Cade Bambara).